you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
So apparently I’m into choking now
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
