hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
