I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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