Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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