If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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