It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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