What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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