i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
