Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
