I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
