You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
