I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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