woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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