Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
