whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
