It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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