Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
