How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
