I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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