Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
