Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
