So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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