Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
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I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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