How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
