mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
