You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
