You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
