Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Randomize