I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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