whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
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