I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
