do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
