There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
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Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
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Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize