oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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