around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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