while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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