the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
