I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
