lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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