his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
