So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Randomize
