I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
