we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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