I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
