please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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