There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
