when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize