You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
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We got so high we made milksteak
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
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that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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