I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
