i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
