They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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