I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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