"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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