I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
