you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize