what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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